I have been a mother for more than 17 years. It is a role that I have loved, hated, cherished, and despised. I know that sounds harsh, but being a mother is not all home baked cookies, adoring clean children who are instantly obedient. It's hard work keeping these little human beings fed, safe and educated while maintaining some sense of sanity. But my job as a mother has evolved over the years. When my three children were little, I was proud of the fact that I was able to devote all of my time to them. I was a very typical stay at home mother. I had the minivan (still do), my kids were in soccer, I did preschool at home with them, I was crafty, I was a scrapbooker.
As they have grown and the stages of their lives have evolved, so has my mothering. When my youngest, who is autistic, started school at age three to begin early childhood education for therapy to help him, I was left wondering what was in store for me next. I began to understand that my children would not be at home forever and that my purpose in this life is to serve God and His children.....and not just the children I bore. So after searching, pondering, and praying, I felt that I needed to begin to prepare for the time when all of my chicks fly from the nest. Before I had children, I was a journalism major at USU. I loved it. I loved getting the stories, doing interviews, being in the know. But when the prompting came to return to school, it wasn't journalism I was to pursue. It was nursing. The prompting took me back because I was never strong in science, and math was drudgery. However, I knew that if this is what God wanted me to do, He would also help me accomplish it. So, it was with the knowledge of His help that I applied to the local university and started the path to lead me to a bachelors degree of science in nursing.
That's when the guilt started seeping in.
I've had many moments over the past four years when I've questioned my timing of going back to school, but I always know deep down in my soul that this is my time. This is my time to be more than I thought I could be. This is my time to be what God wants me to be. When my role as a mother turns into one of an advisor, mentor and cheerleader, I can still help His children where ever I may be as a nurse. I know that this is my time because I would not have been able to accomplish all that I have without His help....I'm not that smart on my own.
The process of obtaining my degree has not only taught me so much, but my children have learned to become self-reliant. They do their own laundry, they cook dinner, and they clean up after themselves (mostly). These are life skills that they need to know when they leave home for college. I can't do everything for them now because I don't have the time, but I actually should not do everything for them. How else can they become responsible adults?
The whole point of this story is to say that there are many women who strongly advocate that the mother's place is in the home, and there are many women who just as strongly feel that women can be both mothers and professionals at the same time. I have seen many blog posts supporting one side or the other. I have been on both sides of the issue. My stance now is one of individualism. My path, my role, and my responsibilities are not the same as yours, your mother's, sister's or friends. If you want to know what I think you should do, I will always tell you that you should pray about it....to find out what God wants for you. What He wants for me isn't the same as what He wants for you, and His timing for you isn't the same as it is for me.
The moral of it all? Don't judge, either out loud or in your attitude. We are all on a path that will lead us Home someday and our paths are all different. Not wrong.....just different. Life is hard and we need to support and love one another to get through.
Perfectly said.
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