Hearing God Laugh

That title may sound a bit sacriligous, but I mean no harm by it.

You've heard the addage, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans."

I think He may have been rolling on the floor with laughter for me a few times by now.

Here were my plans (note the past tense being used), and how they turned out......

-Marry a return missionary in the Logan Temple, stay in Utah and raise five children.
     End result:  I did marry a very wonderful return missionary, I did get married in the Logan temple, but I ended up in Las Vegas and had three children.

-Adopt a baby girl from a Central American country.
     End result:  We started out with one agency and were attempting adoption in El Salvador, then changed to Guatemala, then changed AGAIN to LDS Family Services.  We then felt that we were no longer supposed to adopt, so it never happened.

-Stay in Las Vegas, have all our children graduate high school, get my BSN degree (and my RN license), have Sweetie retire from teaching, and then start working on serving a mission with my forever companion.
   End result:  (This one is still in progress)  As it stands currently, we will not be staying in Las Vegas.  Sweetie was let go from his teaching position and may not ever return to the classroom.  Our oldest is looking at changing high schools for the third time in three years...and will finish school in a totally different state.  My schooling is now on hold for at least a year while we settle into a new home and I get residency status (because I am NOT paying out of state tuition!), so that RN license is also on hold.  The mission will still happen...but may be delayed.

Aligning my will to God's has been a challenge, to be sure.  But as my life has taken a dramatic turn in the past six weeks, I've learned a lot about myself and my relationship with Him. 

I've learned that I'm still far from completely understanding His ways. 

I've learned that patience in trials doesn't come when I expect it to and that the trial will always last much longer than I want it to.  Like a child in time-out, I can't just tell God that I'm done now and I've learned the lesson He wants me to learn. 

I've learned that He sends little miracles and blessings (which I call Sparrow Moments....because His eye is on the sparrow and He watches over the least of His creatures, including me), along the way during adversity to help bolster my faith and to keep me hopeful, to remind me that He has not forgotten me and my family. 

I've learned that if I watch for those miracles, I am more grateful and willing to endure the hard times. 

I've learned that when I think the trial may be coming to an end, it's usually not and I need to hold on to Him just a bit more to get through it.

I've learned where I need to turn to find my core of inner peace and what is it I should to do maintain it.

I've also learned that when all is said and done, I want to be able to stand before my Heavenly Father and tell him I was willing to submit to all He wanted me to go through.  Because of the trials I endured, I will be able to be with Him someday because I was refined in His fire. 

That is my goal and I hope that I can make Him pleased with me.